I am already sick of being asked if I want to try Gemini. It’s just begun. I’m already sick of it? Shit, I am going to need to be on point with my emotions in the next 20 years while AI just becomes more and more of a thing. Ugh. Who cares. The only AI I like is Blue Shirt Guy. Honestly, who knows, I just don’t care. No I don’t want to use Gemini, just fuck off.
So that stupid tool getting internet bombed for his gross speech about women choosing the correct vocation in life- wife. He’s not the only one of course who says stupid shit like this. But this privileged fucking guy. At the pinnacle of power and privilege. Just talking to a bunch of 20-somethings who are already in debt and entering a society with soaring cost-of-living expenses like that is egregious. But add on the sickening misogyny? I did not watch his whole speech. I was already vomiting when he was talking about being a wife as a vocation. So I guess that makes husbands dumb fucks, since that is what that assclown is. But let’s shame all of them. All the penis havers, especially the ones with fucking money and power, could you please shut the fuck up about what women “SHOULD” be doing? It’s so beyond gross, we need a new fucking word. This is the USA right? This is 2024 right? Honestly. Penises cause WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more abortions than any vagina I’ve been in contact with. So go fuck yourselves. I know I know, not all penis havers suck. Just shut the fuck up, you know what I mean. Honestly though I’m so ready to just say fuck it.
Virginia is now a state that has joined the whole “slavery gave them job skills” for their education and schools. And having monuments dedicated to confederates. How many more states will join this? In Kansas, despite abortion being legal, women will now be incessantly grilled about their reasons and all will be reported to the state, including the number of times they refuse to answer. Plus the bans already in place in other states like Idaho and Florida. Wow Florida is really fucking up. And the states that are supposedly the “most prolife*” also have the highest rates of poverty, stds, pregnancy, no sex Ed, so we will have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of more babies who are not wanted or maybe wanted but cannot afford and/or they have horrible chronic illnesses. I don’t know if you knew this, but sex is only for creation. So if you have sex, every single time you have sex, you must be prepared to raise a person to adulthood.
Is the Kansas government, the Idaho, the Florida, the Virginia, gonna pay for those babies? Nope. Fuck free school lunch too. It makes me SICK. Prolife* indeed. Bunch of bullshit. You know what decreases abortions? Education. Access. Birth control. EDUCATION. Fucking morons. They don’t care babies are born with nothing— they become the future slave workforce that is underpaid, overworked, but they still need benefits so they are all called lazy moochers. While the rich and the politicians bask in mountains of gold, we all scrap for pennies. The rich LOVE socialism because they get billions in bailouts, loans, corporate welfare, tax breaks, incentive programs. It’s sickening. And all those fucking morons wearing diapers supporting a pampered racist sick fuck rapist are all 1 step closer to homelessness, not one step closer to their “real salt of the earth trump messiah” level of wealth. It’s truly the 2% vs the 98%. And the 98% stay distracted with fighting about genitals, bathrooms, allowing people to play sports, so we all fight and the rich win and win and win. Rant over. For now.
Oh and I’m 100% sure I have Borderline and Bipolar. Despite me resisting it and denying it. It just makes everything make so much more sense. LUCKILY I was privileged enough to have amazing parents, childhood, upbringing and because of this I haven’t fully succumbed to these diagnoses, I had resources, social support, and was able to function and then get my shit together. 70% of those with these personality disorders have high ACE scores (adverse childhood experiences) and these ACES explain why the cycle of poverty-mental health- addiction exists. My ace score is maybe 1. It’s zero or 1. The max is 10. I’ll let you guess what percentages of prisoners have high ACES, domestic violence victims and perpetrators, those in poverty, the homeless… it’s not fucking rocket science. Or should I say it’s not the American economic system! My feeble, socialist, feminist, libtard, weed soaked brain can’t handle the complexities of the sophisticated economic system that continues to fail the people and support the rich and powerful. I just don’t get it. And this all stems from lack of access to healthcare, education, sex Ed, family planning and birth control. Cycle goes on and on. And since even working class people are obsessed with being better than at least someone!!!! … we all keep arguing over pennies and fighting, while the 2% wipe their asses with gold bars.
I’m with Emily Spivey on Wine Country. I’m a complete piece of shit just like most of us. I don’t have some sick need to be “BETTER” than someone. Because I already know I’m better than so much human filth out there, why must I fight against other working class Americans who have the same fucking goals and dreams as me? Just want to live life, have some joy, have some vacations, have some love, and hopefully not kill myself early just to afford bread and medicine. Maybe make someone smile. Maybe make a small difference in someone’s life. Maybe help out my fellow humans. Maybe not be an asshole. But of course, I am an asshole. I am evil. I am a piece of shit. Remember.
I did “I am Ken” on karaoke in Portland, Oregon and it felt amazing. I love that song so much. Probably going overboard with my obsession with it. But I do not care. Makes me happy. Man I got into it. Cuz called me the “gayest straight person ever”. Way before I even did karaoke. I felt so cool. I like that no one can guess my sexuality or gender identity or put me in a box. My “style”, my clothes, my song choices, my heroes, my obsessions, apparently it’s all over the place. GOOD. Fuck it. I’m just being me. I’M JUST KEN. It perfectly describes a life mantra. be tHe awKwaRd and I’m Just Ken. Both magic. Honestly I’ll probably die alone because of it. Oh well. Just thinking “what alpha man will want to date a woman like me” or “What guy is gonna come tell me how awesome I was doing I’m Just Ken and then want to hang out” makes me feel like a stupid dumb asshole. Who gives a shit. My goal in life isn’t to be approved by a man. But, goddammit, I do think about it. Then the next day, I got a snatch in my face. I mean, who knows. Life is short but it can also be extremely long. It’s a spectrum. It’s a journey. If wearing my Ken and barbie movie clothes make me happy, then I’m gonna fucking do it. I’m gonna wear the swim trunks and do the I’m Just Ken and confuse everyone. When I overthink it, that’s when I digress from me. Unfortunately, at work I have to digress a bit. I’ve truly never had a job where I can just be me. But has anyone? Probably. Cuz a lot of people aren’t insane like me. Self-employed.
Ooooo… mama like
The whole “embracing diversity” at work is fine, up to a point. I’ve gone over the line, so I have to reign it in. My style can be “too much”, “overwhelming”, “energy isn’t right” so if I want to continue this life here, I gotta do it. I will say it’s far less than most jobs I’ve had. And I do not want to blow my head off every night. So that’s already a win. Compartmentalizing is a spectrum. I will to a point for work. But I do try to be 100% authentic as much as humanly possible. I’m so done tip toeing. I’ll nod my head along to avoid a conflict with a moron, sure. But I’m not gonna cower down, compromise my values for it. I have to look at myself in the mirror and know I didn’t do that. Otherwise, what else will I have. But it is also a privilege. If I just fucked up royally, and had to move, got sued by the landlord, went into debt, maybe jail, maybe another bankruptcy. But I would not be homeless. I would have family to go to. That is a privilege. If I had kids, would I be saying this? If I had someone counting on me? Truly counting on me? If my parents lost all their money and had to stay with me, would I be so quick to think I wouldn’t compromise my values? And is it actually compromising them to sacrifice for someone you love?
Sometimes I wish I would have done what so many people told me to do- go do standup. I’m a storyteller. So it wouldn’t be “jokes” really. But so many people told me that. Were some of them just shooting shit? Of course. But I never asked people if I would be good at it. They brought it to my attention. But no matter how many times I started scribbling lines downs and looking at open mics, I never signed up. Never did it. But making people laugh makes me feel great. Who knows. Maybe I will one day. I also wish I would stop thinking I’m an imposter. Just because I choose to keep it real, not talk “bigly”, dress casual, act awkward, I’m not legitimate? I’m not real? I’m not worthy? I got the same fucking degrees. The same fucking licenses and exams and jobs. Clarence, I need to stop. I saw the Book of Clarence on Netflix and I’m trying to replace Jesus with Clarence. I am not an imposter. Keeping it simple is universal. More people are brought in because more people understand. That was something that always bothered me, even as a younger teen. Taking standardized tests, SATs, ACTs, GRE, all having this vocabulary that no one uses, unless you’re in the academic realm. People don’t sit around campfires and use this vocabulary yet we had to take tests with all these words no one in our lives use. Even as a kid I knew standardized tests were bullshit, were biased and gross. And used to fund schools! SICK.
*unborn only